to be or not to be?
platonic or romantic? the dance we play in subtle exchanges
When we first met,
it felt like we were sizing each other up,
circling,
testing the waters.
He didn’t make any bold moves,
and I wasn’t sure if it was just friendly conversation
or something more beneath the surface.
Maybe I’d just made a cool new friend,
someone to share moments with,
but I couldn’t quite read his next step.
After the movie,
we walked side by side,
both unsure of what came next,
like two pieces on a board with no clear path.
I asked, “What way are you going?”
He smiled,
a playful glint in his eyes,
“I don’t know, where are you going?”
A shift in the air,
a quiet challenge that made the space between us feel just a bit more charged.
I offered the rooftop,
a new angle, a shift in the game.
We walked up,
and the door seemed to open without either of us making the first move—
it just happened.
“This place seems nice,” he said,
and I agreed,
the pieces falling into place in a way that felt effortless
but somehow right.
We settled in,
our bodies finding a rhythm,
like movements we didn’t need to think about.
I turned toward him,
just enough to make it feel intimate,
but still, I wasn’t sure—
had he crossed a line,
or was he just waiting for the right moment?
Then, with a quiet shift,
he asked, “So, should we keep talking,
or should we see where this goes?”
And in that moment,
I felt the weight of his words.
The game had changed—
it was no longer about testing the waters,
but about moving forward,
together,
if we wanted to.
He made his final move.
I guess it wasn’t all talk.
Now, it was up to me—
whether I would comply
or chicken out to the nerves.
It was time to see if I was really about it,
ready to take that next step.
No turning back now.
I could’ve stayed safe,
held onto what I’d been told I should want—
to wait for a commitment,
to save that part of me for someone more “deserving.”
But in that moment, I realized—
I wanted to move forward.
Fuck the rest.
I wanted to take the chance,
to risk it all and see what could be.
In the end,
it wasn’t about playing it safe—
it was about choosing now,
choosing him,
choosing me.
A step forward,
with no rules but the ones we made,
and nothing left to lose.