So—raise of hands if any of you have had sleep paralysis.
Okay, one hand. Brave.
Everyone else, congrats on sleeping like you don’t have a soul. Must be nice.
So I’ve gotten sleep paralysis twice in my life.
And they were back to back.
Yeah. Ehhh I know.
I thought it was like a one-time thing, like food poisoning. You survive it, you move on.
But no—apparently my demons were doing a double feature.
So the first time, I wake up, I’m like, “That was terrifying... but anyway.”
I just go back to sleep.
Because I thought it was over.
Nah.
They said, let’s run it again. Like it was a concert encore I didn’t ask for.
You're probably wondering what the dream was even about.
Okay—lemme set the scene.
Y’all know that guy with the black drapey thing and the sword?
someone guesses
Yeah—the Grim Reaper.
So he pulls up.
Just standing there at the end of my bed like it’s his house.
Doesn’t say a word. But the air? Suddenly cold.
Like hospital hallway cold.
Naturally, I try to scream.
I look like I’m on mute.
Like I’m giving everything in me—and nothing is coming out.
Silent scream. Which is the most disrespectful kind of scream.
Then I try to move—to get out of there.
Can’t.
My arms and legs feel like they’ve been stapled to the bed.
Like… damn. I didn’t know the Grim Reaper was into crafts.
Anyway—it’s kinda dark, but at that time in my life, my brain used to go to ending it all.
Very emo. Real “only bad things happen to me” vibes.
Which, based on how I look, is probably… not surprising.
So when he showed up, it didn’t feel like a jump scare.
It felt like he was doing a little check-in.
Like: “So... you still bout it? Or was that just a Tumblr phase?”
Honestly, it felt like I got sent to the spiritual version of the Scared Straight program.
You know when they take those bad kids to jail like,
“See? This could be your life”?
Except mine was just the Grim Reaper being like,
“You wanna see how depressing eternity is? Keep playing.”
And I was like, “Actually... I think I’m good. I got a lot to live for. Like... soup. And TV.”
So yeah. I stayed.