notice my absence?

memory to keep or doomed to be forgotten

do you ever think of me

i wonder,
when i look up at the sky,
if you do too.

when you’re on long car rides,
staring out the window,
do you put on a song and —
for even a second —
think of me?

i still think of you.
think back to that day.
how close i felt to you —
not in a way that asked for a promise,
not a ring, not a forever.
just the quiet intimacy of knowing
how your days unfold,
what song you’ve been replaying,
what inside joke your friends made,
even if it wasn’t that funny.

i don’t think you consider me anymore.
you view my stories,
but you never like them.
still, you’re always one of the first to look —
within the hour, without fail.

so is that a sign i meant something?
if it is,
why don’t you reach out?

why am i always the one
keeping this thread alive,
asking how you are,
finding new ways to remind you
i’m still here?

i know you’re leaving soon.
maybe that’s why.
but does that really mean
we can’t enjoy the time that’s left,
even if it’s only virtual?

am i not interesting enough?
or are you just protecting your heart?

i told you:
“let me know how it goes
when your family visits.”
you hearted the message.
i meant it.
i still hope you’ll take me up on it.

before this —
like all the others —
fizzles out into the night.
before we forget the moments we shared.
before we become strangers again,
passing by each other like
none of it ever happened.

unless, maybe one day,
we run into each other.
but will the timing be right?
or will it be too late —
your hand in someone else’s,
mine too —
pretending not to feel
the old, unfinished pull between us?

even if it was only physical,
even if it was only one moment —
i would have wanted it.
wanted to speak without speaking.
wanted to feel without asking for more.

i hold on to people.
but do they ever hold on to me?
or am i just someone —
always meant to be remembered for a moment,
then forgotten for a lifetime?