no one noticed

power or powerless?

i used to find power in validation—

held it like proof

to show my past self:

see? you’re enough.

maybe back then,

they just lacked the courage

to name what lived

locked in their minds.

so i entertained a few.

tried to catch up.

make up for all the years

i went without.

at first, it was magic—

a world unfolding,

full of firsts

and soft awakenings.

they taught me more

than they’ll ever know.

unlocked rooms

i didn’t know were there.

but then came the waiting.

hours of silence.

the voice in my head whispering:

don’t do too much.

you’ll scare them away.

left on delivered.

name no longer there.

a quiet punishment

i can’t prove,

but feel all the same.

another one gone.

some before we even met.

what did i do this time?

so i sit still,

ask the air:

is this the universe telling me—

take a break

stop hoping

love is for the rest

not for you

maybe this is mine to carry:

a lifetime without it.

maybe i focus on other things.

get good at letting go.

and move through the world

with the quiet knowing—

if i disappeared tomorrow,

no one would notice.

or worse—

they’d notice

only when they needed something.

a witness.

a sounding board.

an ego boost.

someone to orbit their world

for a moment

before being dismissed again.

not missed.

not mourned.

just remembered

like a number in their phone

they don’t bother deleting.

just in case.